She has a habit of rotating her foot clockwise in a slow but meditative fashion. It calms me and I remember where I come from.

Her leg is covered with skin colored nylons… feet pudgy with age. I miss her. I don’t want to miss her. Because I know there is not a lot of time left. And we are thousands of miles apart.
If there was anyone who ever thought I was something extraordinary it was her… without a doubt, an unwavering belief that I am a good person and I can do no wrong. I wish I could be that person for her everyday and hope that when she leaves us she doesn’t look down/up/sideways at me and become disappointed because of all the things I’m most likely to screw up.

I constantly fiddle with the rose that swings open with our lady in the middle that hangs from my wrist on a bracelet she has been building since I was little..I never really appreciated the statues and the medallions I’ve been given until this stage in my adult life.

I envision her stroking my head which always makes everything feel less big and less frightening… because I don’t have any clue what I’m supposed to be doing and how I’m supposed to do it half the time.

Her faith is unwavering and I wish I could have that kind of meaning in my own life. She prays for me everyday and that gives me hope that everything will work out, that it will all be okay in the end.

You now forget us, forget our moments together, forget where you are. But I never forget. You are in my heart and in my thoughts every single day and I wish I could be with you tonight at bingo.

Happy 94th Birthday Grandma, sending you my love that is as big and as vast as the ocean I have to cross to see you.


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Dear Human: You’ve got it all wrong. You didn’t come here to master unconditional love. That is where you came from and where you’ll return. You came here to learn personal love. Universal love. Messy love. Sweaty love. Crazy love. Broken love. Whole love. Infused with divinity. Lived through the grace of stumbling. Demonstrated through the beauty of… messing up. Often.

You didn’t come here to be perfect. You already are. You came here to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous. And then to rise again into remembering. But unconditional love? Stop telling that story. Love, in truth, doesn’t need ANY other adjectives. It doesn’t require modifiers. It doesn’t require the condition of perfection. It only asks that you show up. And do your best. That you stay present and feel fully. That you shine and fly and laugh and cry and hurt and heal and fall and get back up and play and work and live and die as YOU. It’s enough. It’s Plenty.

– Courtney A. Walsh

Beautiful advice from a divorced man after 16 years of marriage

Stumbled across this. Not that I’ve been married and divorced, but it makes me think about it and what I want it to look like (well not divorce just marriage). Even if it was, as a recent comment says, “written by a female for another female as in a lesbian marriage or something. Not believable.”

love story from the male perspective

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Try This Dish: Caprese Pasta

I know I just mentioned Colleen. But I’ve got to share her tasty quick pasta.

The Love of Gadgetry

The other week I did a post on Spring Rolls because they are easy and delicious and impress people when you bring them to parties. All of that is true, however, if you are often a bit lazy and are short on time like me they don’t always work. My actual number-one go-to dinner contribution is the caprese salad. It’s literally the easiest:

  • cherry tomatoes
  • bocconcini cheese
  • fresh basil
  • olive oil and balsamic vinegar

Last week I was perusing a blog I recently started reading, Leopard is a Neutral, and I came across a recipe for Caprese PASTA! Why have I never thought of this before? What is wrong with me? It’s literally as easy as the salad (just add pasta and a bit of garlic, salt and pepper and substitute fresh mozzarella) and it’s an entire meal! I won’t spell out the obvious here, but you should…

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First blog post, first blog post, what to write hmmm…

It starts with a boy. If only it didn’t but it does and I am into honesty and God knows I don’t want my blog to be living a lie.

I should first mention that Emily Dickinson inspired me to start this blog. Sort of. It was more a good friend of mine who blogs a lot and said “hey you know what helps with a broken heart? Blogging.”

That’s Colleen. But my other childish friends and I like to call her Cooleen for a multitude of reasons

  1. she LOVES crocs
  2. she’s a really good dancer, especially when Journey is playing
  3. she’s a badass woman who gives great advice and is super smart

As far as Emily goes. Well Emily died almost exactly 100 years before I was born in 1886. That probably doesn’t mean anything but I like it when I find little things I have in common with complete (dead) strangers, it makes me feel less alone, when I’m feeling alone. Besides her great writing ability, Emily had (I assume had because I like to analyze poems and have gone over hers many a time thus coming to the conclusion) a similar relationship experience to myself, a time in life that caused the heart great pain.

It’s all I have to bring today –
This, and my heart beside –
This, and my heart, and all the fields –
And all the meadows wide –
Be sure you count – should I forget
Some one the sum could tell –
This, and my heart, and all the Bees
Which in the Clover dwell.

Ms. Dickinson

It is hard/ nor do we want to forget about something beautiful, such as a relationship (when it was good). And even though ours hearts are free they get stuck sometimes. Well mine does because I get obsessed and stalk people.

Anyway alas comes the great task of…letting go.

How many articles and books I have read and how many forums I have visited in the last 6 months to try and accomplish this I don’t know. Did it help? I’m gonna say no, but it made the time pass and I finally came to the realization that a man child is a man child and I am way to MF awesome to date one of those again. #YYJ

So now this blog. Which will not JUST be for cheesy chats about relationships woes, although a quote like this MIGHT be thrown in there from time to time “some doors are meant to be closed and when you try to reopen them you remember why they were closed in the first place.” How is that not relatable…

No there will be other things, inspired by my friends, my family, my wine, my travels, my shopping addiction, my small town humor, my anxiety, my serious flare for the dramatic and my love of weird eccentric things…and also sometimes my sisters dog because she eats EVERYTHING and instead of being an animal abuser this might be a better option to vent my feelings for when my laptop charger has been chewed up for the 5th TIME.

So yep. If you read my posts thanks, that makes me happy. #selflove

I should mention I really like using hashtags. Mostly because they are a great tool for sarcasm and help when joking about things (by now everyone has probably seen Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake’s skit)

I also like to use acronyms with swear words in them such as JFK. If you can figure them out you can join the club.

The bartender barely recognized me without tears in my eyes.

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